That panic moment when you don’t feel your phone in your pocket
One time my friend was drowning and the lifeguard told him “swim over to me”
a criminal who has been sentenced to life in prison for committing murder is about to be thrown in jail. “wait, you dont have to do this, you can let me go!” he says. “ha yeah right, and why would we do that?” says the police officer. ”new year new me :)” responds the criminal. the police are amazed and he is released from prison
Will you eat my Valentine?